First aired: 9/15/90
Written by: John Ludin & John Loy
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus, Missy-Mom, Mr. Preston
Historical figures: Kublai Khan, Marco Polo (whom B&T call Mr. O'Polo)
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill & Ted are rehearsing in Bill's garage when their loud
music knocks Missy's "brand-new antique" Chinese vase off its
shelf. Desperate to replace the broken vase before Missy gets
home, the dudes travel back to Ancient China in search of an
authentic substitute. Once in China they are arrested for causing
a mess in a vase store (called 1000 Vases of Dr. Lao - a joke
relating to the cult movie classic The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao) and are
sentenced to building the Great Wall of China (a couple of days
work - which falls down as soon as they are released). Unaware
that their phone booth, which was parked in a tow away zone, has
been taken to Kublai Khan's palace, the dudes stop at Oodles of
Noodles for some lunch. Rufus slips them a note via fortune cookie
to let them know about their booth, and they have to explain the
concept of Chinese take-out to the waitress named Kitten Kaboodles,
who offers them a free vase which is exactly like Missy's. On
their way to the palace they are shanghaied and taken aboard Marco
Polo's ship, which is for the best because Kublai Khan had given
Marco Polo the phone booth (claiming it would take four photos for
a dollar except it was broken) as a going away gift. Bill & Ted
find themselves put to work swabbing the deck and later painting
the ship. Not appreciating the wild paint job the dudes do on his
ship, he makes them walk the plank (and a shark ends up eating
their vase), but through a wild series of mishaps they all end up
taking the booth back to Italy when the ship sinks. In Italy,
Marco Polo reports back to his boss, who is angry when he finds out
Marco Polo forgot the rice. Bill and Ted offer the man their take
out noodles instead, which he likes so much he decides to rename
them (his dog Spaghetti eventually providing the inspiration). Marco Polo sees Bill and Ted off, both of whom are disappointed
they didn't get a vase, until Marco offers them one of the free
vases he got from the same Chinese restaurant. Upon returning
home, the dudes accidentally break the new vase and have to confess
to Missy they broke her vase. Missy then confesses her vase was a
freebie given out by the new Chinese restaurant in town, Oodles of
Noodles.
First aired: 9/22/90
Written by: John Loy & John Ludin
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus
Guest Characters: Mr. Scandland, Music Appreciation teacher
Historical figures: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (whom Bill & Ted call
"Little Wolfy" and "The Wolfman"), Richard Penneman a.k.a. Little Richard (with the genuine item doing the voice!), William Tell
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill and Ted are in danger of flunking their Music
Appreciation class most heinously (they identify the William Tell
Overture as the theme song to The Lone Ranger) unless they write an
essay on classical music by the next morning. They head to the San
Dimas Mall to do some research but aren't able to relate since none
of the old time dudes played electric guitar. Rufus shows up,
unable to assist them, but with clearance to say three words,
"Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart". The dudes travel back to Salzburg,
Austria, to ask Mozart for help with their report, but accidentally
go back too far and end up babysitting the way juvenile pre-composer
instead. Intending to take Mozart into the future in hopes he'll
relate to Deacon, the trio is waylaid when Wolfie needs to make a
pitstop and they end up in Macon, Georgia in the 50's where
Wolfie's pranks inadvertently gets a young dishwasher named Richard
Penneman fired from his job. Bill & Ted recognize the unemployed
man as Little Richard and encourage him to pursue a future in
recording, helping him along by paying him to babysit Mozart while
they search for another composer to help with their report. In
search of William Tell (who wrote that most outstanding overture)
the dudes venture to Switzerland, and after a harrowing slide down
the Matterhorn in their phone booth, they run afoul of the
egregious authority figure who's obsessed with the beauty of his
own hat, which they cause to land in some mud, and are thrown into
prison. In the meantime, Little Richard books a recording studio
to record his first demo and with the help of an intrigued little
Mozart, comes up with a whole new style of music destined to take
the world by storm. Meanwhile, during their incarceration Bill &
Ted briefly meet William Tell, who simply informs them he hates
music before making his escape. Facing a lengthy prison sentence,
the dudes plead to have an alternative punishment, and are told if
one can shoot an arrow of the other one's head they can go free. Ted succeeds in shooting an apple off Bill's head with a paper
triangular football (folded from an 81/2" x 11" piece of notebook
paper, three hole punched) but only after he also manages to knock
the authority figure's hat in the mud again. They make an escape
back to Georgia in time to see Little Richard and the Wolfman ride
up in a fancy car (driven by Rufus), the former now a huge musical
success. Little Richard returns the favor by performing "Good
Golly, Miss Molly" with Mozart in the San Dimas High School yard for Bill & Ted's
report on how rock 'n roll and classical music are really one in
the same. They then return Mozart to his time period where his
parents are distressed to learn he has decide to become a most
bodacious musician.
First aired: 9/29/90
Written by: Wayne Kaatz & Gordon Kent
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus, Mr. Ryan, Missy, Mr. Preston, Detective Logan, The Three Most Important People
Guest characters: Latin class teacher
Historical figures (& those they're based on): Incan High Priest,
Julius Caesar, Kishka - catering lady
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill and Ted are called to Vice Principal Ryan's office for a
meeting with their parents after they sign up for spring term
classes . . . choosing only Study Hall and Girls P.E. There they
learn they are to take a series of most egregiously tough classes,
including Latin! They are horrified to learn that the Latin class
is made up entirely of dweebs, and that their first assignment is
to decipher the Latin on a rare ancient Roman coin minted for only
one day in the realm of Julius Caesar. Conferring at the Circle K,
they decide to go back to when the coin was made to find one. Accidentally they find themselves in Latin America instead, in the
midst of an Incan rain dance ceremony. They are mistaken for rain
gods and given a sumptuous banquet. All is well until they are
called upon to make it rain, and when they can't the Incans attempt
to boil them in oil as a sacrifice to their Sun God. The Three
Most Important People send Rufus to their aid, but before he
arrives the dudes are able to escape by talking the Incans into
letting them make one phone call. As Bill & Ted head to Ancient
Rome, Rufus finds himself the new target of the Incans' sacrifice
(luckily he is later saved by the Three Most Important People). After a close call landing in the middle of a fight between two
gladiators, Bill & Ted decide the best way to get the coin they
need is by working for it. They are hired by a woman who needs
help catering Caesar's tailgate party. They find themselves in the
palace of Julius Caesar and unwittingly become the scapegoats for
two evil Romans plotting to do away with Caesar by poisoning his
grape juice. Spilling food on Caesar, Bill accidentally rips the
man's robe trying to clean it, but the new ripped style catches on
with those in attendance, leading to the first toga party. As the
dudes attempt to serve Caesar his grape juice, the emperor calls
for a food taster (picking out Rufus, who is in disguise as a
partying Roman). It is discovered the drink is poisoned, and Rufus
helps the boys escape. They are pursued by the two evil Romans, in
a combination James Bond / Ben Hur style chariot race. Ducking into the Coliseum to
escape their pursuers, Bill & Ted find themselves the main
attractions facing a hungry lion. Rufus steps in, acting as
referee, to save the dudes from being eaten. Realizing they need
to save Rufus in turn, Bill & Ted hope to rain out the game by
doing the Incan rain dance, which works. Bill & Ted are then
captured and about to be found guilty of trying to murder Caesar
when the real assassins are revealed and Bill & Ted are declared
heroes instead. Caesar proclaims it Bill & Ted day and announces
the minting of a one-time only, collector's item commemorative
coin. Back in San Dimas, the Latin class has deciphered the front
side of the coin as meaning "Let the festivities be prolonged ad
infinitum", or as Bill & Ted point out, "Party On, Dudes". The
dudes pass their Latin assignment by translating the flip side of
the coin as "Be Excellent to Each Other".
Bloopers:
First aired: 10/6/90
Written by: Rowby Goren
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus, Detective Logan, Deacon
Historical figures (& those they're based on): Miles Standish,
Priscilla & the Pilgrims, Sir Francis Drake & Pirate O'Malley, The Wright
Brothers, Henry Ford
Time periods:
Plot:
After Detective Logan manages to survive Ted's 41st (and
last) driving lesson in his dad's most macho squad car, Bill
expects Ted to drive them down to the record store to pick up the
new Iron Maiden CD. Borrowing Detective Logan's Classic 1973
Plymouth Duster named "Blue Betty", and with Rufus along as their
licensed driver (he shows up to take their phone booth in for its
20,000 Year Checkup) they end up stalled in the middle of an
intersection and blocking traffic. Leaving Rufus to try to fix the
car, the dudes go back in time to try to find someone to help them. Dialing in Plymouth they end up at Plymouth Rock when the Pilgrim's
have just landed. Caught between the fighting Pilgrims and
Indians, they offer to cook them dinner to help them come together. They are told to cook a baby turkey, but unable to harm the little
creature they instead serve up cherry, cranberry, corn, squash and
trout Frosty Slushes then Chicago-style pizza, which land them in
the stocks. They are freed by a Native American wanting their
trout Frosty Slush recipe and again attempt to use the booth to
continue their quest, but the booth goes out of control because of
not being serviced and they end up on the ship of Sir Frances
Drake, who is being attacked by the infamous Pirate O'Malley. When
the ship is boarded by the pirates, it turns out Pirate O'Malley is
a woman, and Bill & Ted point out she doesn't have a parrot on her
shoulder and offer her the baby turkey they rescued earlier. It is
then disclosed that O'Malley wasn't attacking Drake to rob him, she
simply wanted him to join her bowling league (the cannonballs were
actually bowling balls). Returning to San Dimas, the dudes find
Rufus being arrested by Ted's dad for stealing and tearing apart
his car. Overhearing Ted's Dad saying it would take a Henry Ford
to put the car back together, they attempt to travel to Detroit in
1903, but accidentally end up in Dayton, Ohio, where they meet the
Wright Brothers. The brothers are working on a faster bicycle, but
Bill & Ted use it to fly up to where their phone booth has gotten
stuck, inspiring the Orville and Wilbur to go build a phone booth. Finally arriving in the right time, the dudes find Henry Ford
stalled in an intersection in his horse and wagon and convince him
to go to San Dimas with them. They find Ted's dad's car in the
impound lot and Henry Ford manages to put it back together. He
enjoys the work so much he decides he will build cars from then on. Bill & Ted then explain to Detective Logan that Rufus was only
trying to help them fix Blue Betty, then overhear that a load of
Iron Maiden CDs has spilled into an intersection and hurry there to
help them clean up the mess, and are given free copies of the CD in return for
their help.
Bloopers:
First aired: 10/20/90
Written by: Mary Jo Ludin
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus, Deacon
Historical figures (& those they're based on): King Henry VIII (a
la Charles Laughton), Ivan the Terrible, Calamity Jane, Paul Revere,
Ben Franklin
Time periods:
Plot:
Ted is practicing guitar in his room when a most odious aroma
assails his noseholes. He finds his little brother, Deacon, in the
backyard turning on the water hose to wash himself off. Deacon
relates how Killer Gabron, a bully at school, threw him into a
garbage can. Ted decides to try helping Deacon deal with his bully
problem. He finds Bill playing video games at the Kozy Korner and
as they ponder the situation Rufus appears briefly (in the video
game) to tell them they need to figure out what to do themselves. They decide to go back into history and find a most heinous bully
to take care of Deacon's bully. They first visit Henry VIII, but
he cannot help them because he has a date with Ann Bolin, so he
suggests they try Ivan the Terrible. They go to Russia to seek out
Mr. Terrible, only to find that in reality he's a major dweeb (his
fierceness, he explains, is all image). They next head to South
Dakota to seek out Calamity Jane, who they find, true to her name,
makes calamities happen wherever she goes. She agrees to go with
them, but her awesome talent of destruction sabotages their booth,
so they push her out before they spiral out of control through
time. They pop up into the silver shop of Paul Revere. When Bill
accidentally knocks over the Liberty Bell, causing it to crack,
Paul Revere mistakes the dudes for British spies. Escaping from
the shop, the dudes duck onto a ship where they are put to work
unloading a shipment of British tea. They accidentally drop two
crates of tea into Boston Harbor, which inspires some
revolutionists (who just happen to be dressed like Indians for a
costume party) to stand up to their oppressors and dump all of the
tea into the harbor. Bill & Ted are heralded as the leaders of the
American Revolution. They ask if anyone can help them fix their
phone booth, and Benjamin Franklin volunteers, using a kite to
channel lightning into the booth. The revolutionists ask Bill &
Ted to stay and help them. Ted makes a speech, saying he has
learned that only if people work together can they stand up to
bullies. The dudes return to San Dimas and tell Deacon to stand up
to Killer Gabron. Deacon does this, inspiring the other kids in
his class to also stand up to the bully, who gets his just desserts
(ending up in the garbage himself). Bill and Ted ponder the fact
that they brought about the American Revolution but no one will
ever know, so they time travel to 1776 to sign the Declaration of
Independence, only to find that John Hancock has hogged all the
space (we learn it was, in fact, Rufus, singing the name big so the
dudes would not be able to sign themselves).
Bloopers:
First aired: 10/27/90
Written by: Sharman DiVono
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus
Guest characters: Next door neighbor and bird expert, Mr. Stickler
Historical figures (& those they're based on): Admiral
Byrd,
King Tut (a la Steve Martin), Nefertiti, Henry Stanley (a la Humphrey
Bogart - African Queen), & Dr. Livingston
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill & Ted agree to housesit for Bill's neighbor, an
eccentric explorer and bird expert named Mr. Stickler. They are
instructed to make sure Mr. Stickler's cat, Max, stays out of the house to protect Prince Rupurt the III, his prized African buff-headed wood
hoopoe. Unfortunately, no sooner does Mr. Stickler
leave than the dudes find out they accidentally left the door open
and Max has already made a snack of the rare bird. Realizing they
need to find a replacement bird, they look up "bird" in the
Circuits of Time directory and end up in Antarctica with explorer,
Admiral Byrd. Having landed on his sleigh dog's kennels, the dudes
must rebuild them before going with Admiral Byrd, which they do by
making it out of ice, igloo style. Unfortunately they are not in
time to fly with Admiral Byrd and start out after him on dogsled. They meet up shortly afterward to find all their compasses going
crazy, and Byrd announces they have discovered the South Pole. Unfortunately for the dudes, there are no birds around except
penguins, so they continue their search through time. They land in
Egypt where they are put to work on the Pharaoh's tomb. They
accidentally cause a giant block to drop on the Pharaoh's barge
and are brought before King Tut for punishment. Seeing they are
about to use a large tablet to write upon, Ted suggests they use
one of Prince Rupert's feathers and some of Nefertiti's eye makeup,
showing them how to write with a pen and paper. Impressed by this,
King Tut gives Bill & Ted the honor of immortalizing his face in
stone. They proceed to build the Sphinx for him. Unfortunately,
they make the nose so large it falls off. Infuriated, King Tut
sends his guards after the dudes and they are only able to escape
after Rufus intervenes, distracting the guards with the second
booth. They next travel to Africa where they end up on the boat of
Henry Stanley, newspaperman, and his monkey companion, Jane, who
are searching for explorer Dr. Livingston. He points out there are
plenty of the birds around and even catches one for them. Mr.
Stanley asks Bill & Ted to stay for dinner. Unfortunately the
villagers serve them the dudes' replacement bird and they must
continue on with Mr. Stanley to find another one. After making it
through some white water rapids, Henry Stanley finds Dr.
Livingston, who offers Bill & Ted another replacement hoopoe, anxious
to get rid of the noisy creature. The dudes hurry the new Prince
Rupert the III to Mr. Stickler's house and it looks like their
deception has worked until Prince Rupert turns out to be a Princess
Rupert and lays an egg.
First aired: 11/3/90
Written by: Rowby Goren
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus, Joanna, Elizabeth, Deacon, Detective Logan
Guest characters: Miss Spleen (math teacher)
Historical figures (& those they're based on):
Saladin (Salad dude),
The Black Knight, Jesse James (a la Joe Besser), & Wyatt Earp
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill & Ted are rehearsing for Wyld Stallyns to play at the
school dance (no one else tried out). They arrive late at school
and accidentally slip into the girls' health class during a movie
and are caught by Miss Spleen, who reprimands them for being late
for her math class and forgetting homework and threatens to have
them expelled and kept from playing at the school dance. Later at
the Kozy Korner, Ted purchases a blue Frosty Slush in a silver
collector's cup before the dudes head back in time to pick up the
Princess Babes to sing with the band at the dance. They
accidentally end up in the middle of the Crusades where they run
afoul of Saladin. He is ready to arrest them until he spots Ted's
silver collector's cup and believes it to be the Silver Chalice. Just then the Black Knight bursts in and steals the Silver Chalice
for himself. Believing Bill & Ted crossed them, Saladin's men
start after them but they are able to escape in the booth. They
arrive in England just as the Black Knight returns from the
Crusades with the Silver Chalice as a gift for the king, who offers
the Knight one of his daughters in marriage as a reward. Determined to save the babes, Bill & Ted infiltrate the castle and
dress as jesters to entertain at a banquet. Their feeble attempts
at juggling and magic acts tips off the Black Knight, who announces
they are there to steal the Silver Chalice. The dudes manage to
get away and sneak into the rooms of the Princess babes, where the
Black Knight shows up and demands Joanna's hand in marriage. At
the wedding, the princesses are saved when Rufus disguises himself
as Joanna long enough to allow the dudes and babes to escape. Chasing after them, the Black Knight is sucked into the time
circuit and swept along to San Dimas with them. At Ted's house the Black
Knight lands on the roof and crashes down through the chimney. They keep him in a state of unconsciousness by playing Lawrence
Welk polka classics for him. Bill & Ted leave Deacon with the
Princess Babes and Black Knight as they hurry to school to avoid
being punished by Miss Spleen. Back at Ted's house, the Black
Knight comes to and chases after Deacon and the Princesses. Unable
to reach anyone by phone, Bill & Ted hurry home to find out what's
happened. They spot Detective Logan racing to where the Black
Knight is riding through town, causing havoc. Realizing they must
do something, the dudes look in the Circuits of Time Directory for
someone to help them and come across an ad for Wyatt Earp. They
travel back to Tombstone, Arizona, where they land on a stagecoach
Jesse James is trying to rob. They continue on to town with Jesse
James on their tail, leading the bandit right into the hands of
sheriff Wyatt Earp. Wyatt Earp declines going back to San Dimas
with them, saying he has a lunch date with Calamity Jane, but
deputizes the dudes to take on the Black Knight themselves. Returning to San Dimas, they face the Black Knight in the center of
town at high noon and they attempt to rope the Black Knight but
fail (Ted forgets to hang on to his end of the rope). The Black
Knight escapes, and Bill & Ted are picked up and returned to school
by Ted's dad. They are just in time for Miss Spleen's math class
where they haven't done their homework. Miss Spleen gives them a
chance to still attend the dance by asking them to solve a long,
complicated problem on the blackboard. They take a guess and
actually get it right, so they are allowed to play at the dance,
only to find out Miss Spleen will be the chaperon. At the dance,
Wyld Stallyns are performing when the Black Knight bursts in. He
is knocked off his horse by the loud cacophony of sound when Joanna
accidentally knocks Ted's electric guitar out of his hands, and
when Miss Spleen investigates she and the Black Knight fall
immediately in love. Rufus arrives to whisk the happy couple away
back to England, and Wyld Stallyns continues to play at the dance.
Bloopers:
First aired: 11/10/90
Written by: Doug Molitor
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus, Missy-Mom, Mr. Preston
Historical figures (& those they're based on): John Henry (a la
Mohammed Ali), Hannibal (General Bull), Queen Victoria
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill is sleeping soundly on a Saturday morning when Missy
wakes him up, asking him to go buy a present for Mr. Preston's
surprise birthday party. She had found an antique pocket watch
just like the one Mr. Preston always talked about losing as a
child. Instead Bill rehearses with Ted in the garage, and when
they blow an amp they decide to use the money to buy themselves a
new amplifier, thinking they can simply go back in time and get the
watch before Bill's dad loses it instead. However in the
excitement of getting a new amp, they forget to get the watch. Unable to find a listing for Bill's dad, they call the Circuits of
Time operator and get Rufus, who is working the switchboard. Rufus
explains they are not allowed to go back into their own pasts for
fear they might accidentally mess something up. Instead Ted calls
Bill's dad and pretends he's a contest representative and says Mr. Preston will
win a bevy of fabulous prizes if he can remember
his phone number from when he was ten. Having what might be the number, they dial back to San
Francisco, 1956, landing on the cable car tracks. They mistake a
hip kid for Bill's dad and follow him into a beatnik club, where
they are scared off by the kid's mean-looking dad. Riding the
cable car back to their booth, the realize they are sitting next to
Bill's dad, and when they get off the cable car a man tries to
steal the kid's watch, but Bill & Ted intervene, giving the watch
back to Bill's dad. Unfortunately, he unknowingly drops it again
and it rolls down a hill and gets run over by a cable car. Bill &
Ted then travel to Big Bend, West Virginia, since Bill's dad had
said it was an antique railroad pocket watch. They land on the
private train of the railroad boss and find out the man owns the
watch they are looking for. Thrown off the train, they are caught
by John Henry. The boss man is introducing a new steam drill which
will take over the work of his men. John Henry offers to take
on the boss man's new machine to prove that men can still work
better than machines, and at Bill's urging asks for the watch if he
wins. John Henry wins the contest and is given the watch, which he
then gives to Bill, but the angry boss man tries to run them down
with his train and proceeds in flattening the watch once more. Next the dudes go to Switzerland, land of watches.
There they have
no luck finding a watch, but they help lure Hannibal's elephants
through the pass by enticing them with a chocolate bar, which the
native Swiss people start making their own chocolate. The
elephants fight over the chocolate and end up ripping the sugar
sacks on each other's backs, sprinkling the countryside with a
coating of sugar (people promptly take up skiing). The dudes save
Hannibal from being crushed by one of the elephants and in return
he gives them his watch, but it turns out to be a sundial. Having
overheard the railroad boss as saying his watch once belonged to
Queen Victoria, they head to England and land on Big Ben before
dropping into her coach. She kicks them off and they infiltrate
Buckingham Palace dressed as beefeaters. They are captured, but
not before ruining the Queen's ceremonial crown. Ted fashions a
hat out of the proclamation and crowns Queen Victoria empress of
India. As a reward, she says they can have whatever they want, and
Bill asks for her watch. She agrees when Ted throws in a box of
antique Swiss chocolates as well. They hurry back to San Dimas in
time to give Bill's Dad his birthday present, and Mr. Preston is
amazed to find they have found the exact same watch he lost on his
tenth birthday, with the inscription "Time is Money" inside.
Bloopers:
First aired: 11/24/90
Written by: Sean Roche
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus
Guest characters: Coach Sweatsocks
Historical figures (& those they're based on): Abner Doubleday,
Harriet Tubman, Count Dracula (a la Jack Nicholson), Babe Ruth
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill and Ted are heading to school, admiring their new pump
sneakers which they have for gym class. They notice Rufus going
into the bowling alley nearby to rent all the shoes they have to
deliver to the Yankee soldiers who have missed a shipment of shoes. Bill & Ted offer their own pump sneakers to the cause as well.
In
gym class, they anger Coach Sweatsocks when they run through the
hurdles instead of over them and do not have their shoes. He
punishes them to polish his trophies, including his autographed
Babe Ruth baseball. They accidentally drop the Babe Ruth baseball
into some water, which washes off the signature. Seeking Babe
Ruth, whom Coach Sweatsocks said was a famous Yankee, and
remembering Rufus was delivering shoes to Yankee soldiers, they
head back to the Civil War where the only reference to baseball
they can find is a guy named Abner Doubleday, who is perfecting the
idea of the game. Bill & Ted get involved in a ball game between
the Yankees and Confederates, where they offer suggestions on how
to improve the game (such as only having four bases and using a
baseball instead of cannonballs). Unfortunately they only manage
to lose the baseball itself. Getting into their booth to escape
they discover a woman hiding inside, who introduces herself as
Harriet Tubman, who was leading a group of escaped slaves to the
North. Her short travel in the Circuits in Time inspires her to
build an underground railroad. Bill & Ted continue on, landing in
Transylvania. Their booth is accidentally taken by a hunchbacked
man who works for "The Count". Bill and Ted are then captured by a
mob of angry villagers, who want to drown them for being cousins of
Count Dracula. Rufus arrives to give the dudes back their shoes,
and helps them escape from their captors. They head to the castle
to retrieve their phone booth and find an irate Dracula angry
because he can't get any sleep in the new "coffin", which is the
boys ringing phone booth. The dudes pose as coffin repair men and
play a soothing tune for Dracula on the dial buttons. They then manage to
get Dracula out of the booth and continue on to Yankee stadium
where they hope to get some hot dogs. They are almost kicked out
by a policeman for not having tickets but manage to elude the man. To their surprise, they hear Babe Ruth being announced as coming up
to bat. They ask him for an autograph, but he doesn't have time
and so he gives them a small photo instead. The policeman catches up
with the dudes and throws them out of the park, where they crash
into a vendor's cart. Then man is trying to sell a new invention
he calls Blibber Blubber, which Bill & Ted soon realize is actually
bubble gum. They offer to trade the photo of Babe Ruth for some of
the gum, which gives the inventor the idea to market the new candy
with trading cards of baseball players. As the boys stand chewing
their gum, they hear the announcer inside the stadium relate that
Babe Ruth has hit home run number 60 out of the park. They are
thrilled to find the baseball also contains the Babe's signature. They hurry the ball back to the gym where Coach Sweatsocks is
thrilled to see they have cleaned his ball and have their shoes
back.
Bloopers:
First aired: 12/1/90
Written by: Paul Dini
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus, Deacon, The Three Most Important People
Historical figures (& those they're based on): Thomas Edison, Leonardo
da Vinci (a la Christopher Lloyd as Doc Brown), Joseph Priestly, A Most
Excellent Chemist Dude (a la Ed Wynn), Christopher Columbus, Queen
Isabella & King Ferdinand
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill & Ted give a free Wyld Stallyns concert in the park,
only to be totally walked out on. This depresses them to the point
they decide not to continue trying to be musicians. In the future
San Dimas, the Three Most Important People summon Rufus and explain
what has happened, saying that their future is on shaky ground. If
Bill & Ted do not continue to try to create their music, life as
they know it will cease to happen and time has started running
backwards. They tell Rufus that he must not tell them about what
is happening to the future, he must instead show them that they
need to keep trying. Rufus drops in on the dudes, slightly younger
and his hair longer. He realizes that he will continue to get
younger until Bill & Ted decide to go back to music, and so he asks
them to help him with an unspecific problem, giving them an
itinerary they are supposed to follow. Their first stop is at
Thomas Edison's laboratory. They find Edison trying to perfect his
phonograph, but having no luck. Bill & Ted encourage Edison not to
give up, and Ted accidentally knocks one of the inventor's stale
pancakes (he hadn't felt like eating in a while), which inspires
Edison to pound his cylinder flat and make a record instead. Returning to the booth, they find Rufus has turned into a geeky
teenager. They continue to follow the itinerary Rufus gave them
and end up in the workshop of Leonardo DaVinci, who is working on
his spiny-winged-up-and-down-flying-thingy without much success. Rufus turns nine years old and starts running amok in the
inventor's workplace. Young Rufus insists he can build Leonardo's
flying thingy and proceeds to make one out of the phone booth. It
succeeds in flying, for a little bit, but it inspires Leonardo to
keep trying. Not sure they're reading their next destination
correctly, they take a chance and end up in the lab of Joseph
Priestley, who had just discovered how to carbonate water. Rufus
becomes an even younger kid and starts mixing chemicals together,
managing to mix some cherry jam in with the soda, making the first
soft drink. Joseph Priestley is inspired to start working right
away on diet soft drinks. Their next stop takes them to the docks
of Spain where Christopher Columbus is trying to convince people to
invest in his voyage to the new world. At this point Rufus turns
into a mere infant. Bill & Ted convince Columbus to try getting a
loan from the Queen (if he doesn't discover America, there will be
no Columbus Day, one less school holiday). The Queen and King
Ferdinand give him the money just to get rid of him. Returning to
San Dimas, Bill & Ted realize they have found the inspiration from
the historical figures they have met to continue trying to make it
as Wyld Stallyns, which restores Rufus to his former self and puts
the future right again.
Bloopers:
First aired: 12/8/90
Written by: Jim Thut
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Vice Principal Ryan
Guest characters: the Mayor of San Dimas
Historical figures (& those they're based on): Shakespeare, Captain John
Sutter, Samuel Clemmons (Mark Twain)
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill & Ted face the most heinous event of their lives when
Mr. Ryan announces they are expelled. Terrified of what Ted's dad
will do to him, the dudes ask for a second chance. Mr. Ryan says
that if they can line up someone incredible for tomorrow's Career
Day they may have a chance to stay in school. At the Kozy Korner
they try to decide who to get to speak. Remembering the statuettes
on Mr. Ryan's desk, they go in search of Shakespeare and Mark
Twain. They arrive in England to find Shakespeare's newest play,
Romeo and Juliet, about to open. When they buy tickets with U.S.
money they are considered crooks and chased by ushers. They
accidentally end up on the stage where the confuse the theater
goers, who begin throwing vegetables. Overhearing Shakespeare
lamenting over what he chose to be, they urge him to "Be what you
want to be . . . or not. Whatever." Bill & Ted reach their booth
and travel to Sacramento, California, where their booth lands in
one of the flumes at Sutter's Mill. John Sutter insists that the
boys are going to work in his mine until they've paid for the
damage to his flume. Finding they aren't making much progress with
mining, Bill & Ted instead revert the flume into the first
waterslide and charge other miners admission to ride. Getting back
into their booth, they find it to be full of frogs from the river
they had been working in. Bill & Ted try again to find Mark Twain,
but only see a listing for Samuel Clemmons and travel to the
Mississippi River where they land on a riverboat, releasing the
frogs to run amok on the boat. They find the captain, Samuel
Clemmons, yelling out "mark twain" (two fathoms) and try to ask him
where Mr. Mark Twain is. Unfortunately the frogs cause such a
commotion and Samuel Clemmons gets fired from what he says is yet
another job (he'd been through many careers already). Bill & Ted
play leapfrog to lure the frogs into one room and in deciding what
to do with the creatures they get the idea to hold races on the
boat's deck and have the passengers bet on the races. Unfortunately the races get out of control and it proves to be no
solution. However, Samuel Clemmons is not upset . . . the incident
has inspired him to write a short story and become a writer (Bill &
Ted never make the connection that he is in fact Mark Twain). Returning to San Dimas without a speaker, they decide to ask the
mayor to attend as a last resort and are surprised when the man
agrees, arriving with a police escort to the San Dimas auditorium
and impressing Vice Principal Ryan enough to keep him from
expelling the dudes.
Blooper:
First aired: 12/15/90
Written by: Sean Roche
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Detective Logan, Mr. Preston, Rufus
Historical figures (& those they're based on): Marie Antoinette,
Jacque & Joseph Montgolfier (a la Abbott & Costello), Gondolier
dispatcher (a la Louie from Taxi), Lucrezia Borga & her father
(based on The Godfather), Juan D'Onote (De O'Nutty), Matsu Basho
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill & Ted's fathers make it clear that they are not getting
any more advances on their allowances, leaving the dudes with a
most serious low cash flow crisis. Rufus meets them at the Kozy
Korner where he shows them a Wyld Stallyns hologram which has
suffered an electrical glitch and wiped out the sound and he's
been sent back to find out what song it is. The dudes want to rehearse but realize that they need money and
have to find part
time jobs. They apply for work in the food court at the San Dimas
Mall, only to find they have no past experience to put on their
applications. They decide to go to France to study food and land
at the palace of Marie Antoinette, who is in tears because her
chefs have quit and there is no one to bake her birthday cake. Bill & Ted offer to bake the cake in exchange for a recommendation.
Outside they find Jacques and Joseph Montgolfier working on blowing
up their hot air balloon and ask if they can borrow their fire to
bake their cake. The balloon gets away from them and snatches up
their phone booth, taking Bill, Ted and Marie Antoinette on a ride. Seeing the masses of people below, Marie thinks they are an
admiring crowd and throws them some of her birthday cake, saying
"Let them eat cake!" She writes a recommendation in the frosting
of the cake and they head on to their next destination. They land
in Venice, Italy, where they get jobs as gondola taxi hacks. Their
first passenger is Lucrezia Borga, who is running away from her
father to meet with her secret lover, who chases after them. When
their gondola is swamped by a larger boat, they escape by using the
phone booth as their gondola instead. Lucrizia asks Bill & Ted to
sing her message to her lover, Antonio, and he comes down to meet
her. Her father finds them and chases after the dudes again, who
disguise themselves as fish mongers to escape. Lucrizia is
grateful to them for helping her escape from her father and gives
them a recommendation as well. They next travel to Northern Mexico
where they meet up with Juan D'Onote on his search for the Lost
City of Gold, who is impressed they could find water in the desert
(their booth was full of water from the Venice canals). They are
given jobs as scouts, but the previous scout is angered and
threatens them with violence for taking his job. An Indian arrives
and shows that his people already live in the Lost City of Gold. D'Onote
claims the land and comes up with the name Santa Fe. Bill & Ted
are chased off by D'Onote's former guide, but are helped in their
escape by the Indians. They next land in a Japanese barber shop
where they meet samurai in training Matsu Basho, who would rather
write haikus than cut hair. Bill & Ted find Basho's haiku's too
depressing and write their own enthusiastic one. As they sing,
they cut a samurai's hair for him unevenly and put it up into a bun
instead. Basho's father is happy with the new style and
congratulates his son. Back at the San Dimas mall, Bill & Ted are
offered jobs at the Geisha Grill, but spotting someone they think
is the samurai they run off before they can take the jobs (it turns
out it was only the Grill's cook). Rufus drops in on the boys
again to see how things are going, and Bill & Ted say they have
learned working is hard and they will be more careful with their
money. They also play their new haiku for Rufus, who is thrilled
when he realizes they are the missing lyrics he's been looking for.
Bloopers:
First aired: 12/22/90
Written by: Rowby Goren
Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Missy-Mom, Rufus, The Three Most Important People
Guest characters: Sgt. Joe Donaldson (a la Charles Bronson)
Historical figures (& those they're based on): The Brothers Grimm
(a la the Smothers Brothers), George Washington (a la Gary Owens),
Davy Crockett (a la John Wayne), Lady Godiva (a la Marilyn Monroe)
Time periods:
Plot:
Bill & Ted are getting ready to climb aboard the school bus
heading for an excellent school ski trip when Rufus drops in and
asks if they would attend Be Excellent to Each Other Day in the
future, but they decline, telling him about their ski trip. Before
they can board the bus, however, a Bookmobile with flashing lights
pulls up and they find themselves facing Sgt. Joe Donaldson of the
library police. He informs Ted that he is the library's Most
Wanted fugitive for not returning the library's copy of Little Red
Riding Hood which he checked out when he was six, and that he now
owes $35,000 in back library fines. Asking if they can at least
make one phone call, they escape to their booth and decide to find
the Grimm Brothers to obtain a copy of the book. They find the two
authorities on grammar being evicted from their home for not paying
their rent. Brother Jacob decides he might want to try his hand at
writing folk tales, while Brother Wilhelm says it's silly. Bill &
Ted realize they must stick with the brothers until they write
their stories. They help the Brothers escape from the law and take
them through time. Landing at Valley Forge, they end up getting to
ski after all, running down George Washington. The Brothers Grimm
are sent to the brig, Bill & Ted are made lieutenants, and
Washington buys a portrait which Rufus was doing of him nearby (he
buys the painting from Rufus for a dollar). Washington instructs
Bill & Ted to come up with something for his last seven soldiers to
eat, but isn't impressed with their snow cones and plain frosty
slushes. The cold treats make Washington sneeze, causing an
avalanche which clears a path and allows Martha Washington to be
able to get through with some food, covered with snow (this
inspires Jacob to think up Snow White and the Seven Soldiers). Bill & Ted and the Brothers Grimm manage to escape in their booth
to Tennessee where they find themselves in a forest facing an angry
bear. In their escape they run into Davy Crockett who says he's
trying to track down their bear, which has taken off with their
phone booth. Jacob starts thinking up stories about three bears
living in a house. Rufus arrives to ask if they still want to
attend the party with him, but when the bear shows up again they
all beat a hasty retreat, only the bear and Davy Crockett manage to
go along for the ride. They all end up in the future at Be
Excellent to Each Other Day. Davy Crockett wrestles with the bear,
which the Three Most Important People find outstanding
entertainment. Bill, Ted and the Brothers Grimm go back to time traveling, and during their trip Brother Wilhelm gets so fed up
with Jacob's idea for the Bear and the Three Most Important People
he throws his brother's notes out of the booth and they have to
stop to try to find the pages. During this stop, Bill & Ted spot a
beautiful blonde riding a horse and follow her, ending up landing
on her horse. She says she is Lady Godiva and says she shouldn't
pick up hitchhikers, and since they have to go anyway they jump off
her horse, inadvertently pulling her red cape off of her. Seeing
the red cape, Jacob becomes inspired to write Little Red Riding
Hooded Cape. Returning to San Dimas, Bill & Ted are taken to the
head librarian, who is shocked when they hand her the original
manuscript, which she says will pay off all Ted's fines. The
librarian checks to see who the next Most Wanted fugitive is, and
it turns out to be Bill, so after the dudes board the schoolbus for
their ski weekend we see the Bookmobile chasing them out of town.
Bloopers:
