Bill & Ted's Excellent Online Adventure

Welcome to my domain, you festering cretins of the 21st Century. If you have stumbled upon this very important page from that other website dedicated to those Two Annoying Ones (we do not mention their names here, as it only aggravates me . . . besides, they are not WORTHY of being mentioned in my presence! . . . those pathetic fools) . . . .

As I was saying, if you have been lucky enough to escape from that moronic world of "bogus" and "excellent," then welcome. And shut up! We don't tolerant any nonsense here! Fear, Discipline, Order . . . that's our motto! What's more, we've pirated a part of their website to use against them . . . HA HA HA!!!!

If you have any intelligence at all you will soon realize that this is where you belong . . . with us! Consider yourselves lucky to be privileged enough to even view this page, dedicated to the future leader of the Universe, the father of all brilliant modern thought, and Sit Up Champion of the 27th Century . . .

NOMOLOS De NOMOLOS
(Anyone overheard calling me "Chuck" will be immediately disposed of!)

First of all, let's get one thing perfectly clear . . . after I tried to kill Bi . . . um . . . those Two Stupid Ones . . . at the Battle of the Bands, I was not simply carted off to jail as was depicted in that piece of film fabrication that was devised in 1991. The fact of the matter is . . . I DIED!!! And not only did I die, but I went to HELL! I was stuck on a rock with those two irritating robot replicas I built! If it weren't for my skills at the game of Life (and Death's lack of skill in any kind of board game other than chess) I never would have been able to return at all! The only one with the balls to chronicle this true history was a strange, nobody cartoonist named Evan Dork or something . . . I understand his only other notable work was about dairy products, so you see that drawing myself in cartoon form was undoubtedly the highlight of his career. I hear tell some other meaningless paperback also dared to tell the true tale of how I was unfairly and unjustly killed by those two supposedly peace-loving nobodies. I present the following panels, drawn by the aforementioned loser cartoonist, as evidence of the untimely demise I suffered at the hands of those two fools!!

Fortunately I continue to thrive in my efforts to discredit and destroy those untalented air-heads. Thanks to my dedicated and devoted webmistresses, Lynn Decay and Jo Smash, I can continue to spread the word of De Nomolos to a new generation, and eventually we will be rid of those blithering, irritating, nauseating couple of boneheads who not only do NOT deserve a place in history but should be erased from ALL of history FOREVER!!!!

This is my favorite picture of the Two Insipid Ones. If only they'd stayed this way . . .

Do you have comments or questions for De Nomolos? He says get lost!
He doesn't have time to talk to the likes of rabble like you!

We will post more news and information as it becomes available, or as De Nomolos feels willing to share his wisdom with such a sad and pathetic audience.

Al Capone was hauled in on tax evasion. I am not so stupid as to allow myself to get picked up for something as simple as a copyright violation. So to appease those who own the rights, here's their silly little legally-required line:

Psst!!!!