(This was the last show held at the Wild Wild West stunt show set at
Universal Studios . . . sniff! HHN's never been the same since it left for
Islands of Adventure! - Michael, our Synopsis Dude)
The show opens with Christopher Walken dancing as he did in Fat Boy Slim's
video. Then the characters from American Pie come out (Jim and the
girl from band camp). Jim is asking for advice about women, she says she
has some friends coming to the show who can help him.
The ladies from Sex and the City come out, the band camp girl
introduces Jim to them and tells them he "sucks in bed".
Samantha from Sex and the City tells Jim she has a solution, he can have
a video from her private collection with her "Lassie" outtakes and a
bottle of lubricant, and tells him to go practice. Carrie does a voiceover
as she does on the show, she says "Is there more to life than a Halloween
theme park show where two characters from a series of 80's movies make fun of
today's entertainment and political scene with witty parody and dancing?
Is there anything better than Bill and Ted?" Samantha interrupts and
says "oops, I gave Jim a tube of Krazy Glue instead of lubricant!"
They exit, the house lights go down, the announcer gives the disclaimers
about the show, and "We Will Rock You" starts. The announcer
then says "The fate of the world will be decided tonight, in a place called
the Moulin Rouge". The "Lady Marmalade" singers come out
(Pink, Mya, Christina Aguilera, and Lil' Kim) sing . . . the phone booth comes
up, and Jay and Silent Bob from the Kevin Smith movies come out. The
Mummy, Cornelius from Planet of the Apes, and Lord Farquar from Shrek
come out as the villains. They think Jay and Silent Bob are Bill and Ted
because they found them hanging around the time-traveling phone booth at the
The villains have a device called the Populator that can bring up any pop
star. They plan to alter pop culture history with the Populator and the
phone booth. They want to be "Kings of Pop" and break off some
Michael Jackson moves. Jay calls Cornelius "Curious George" and
Farquar "Burger King". Then the barn doors at stage left open
and a car from Fast and the Furious enters. The drivers are Bill and Ted,
and their passengers are Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, the Gingerbread
Man from Shrek, Harry Potter, and one of the good apes from Planet of
Elle Woods tells the villains she represents Bill & Ted and is
charging them with theft of a time-travelling phone booth, then the villains
attack. The heroes arrive: Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, the
Ambiguously Gay Duo Ace and Gary from Saturday Night Live, Bluntman from Jay
and Silent Bob Strike Back, and Charlton Heston from the original Planet
of the Apes (Heston tells Marky Mark Wahlberg, who played Heston's character
in the remake, to "eat his shorts"). Shrek also arrives.
The villains leave in the phone booth. The Ambiguously Gay Duo tell
Bill & Ted they are just good friends like them, Bill & Ted respond
"Bogus". Charlton Heston overacts, Bill tells him to calm down
and he'll dial Star 69. Then Mr. T from the A-Team and the
1-800-COLLECT commercials comes out and tells them to use 1-800-COLLECT and
they'll save a buck or two. Bill tells him "Thanks, dude" and
The phone booth comes back, the song "Down with the Sickness"
from Disturbed plays, and the villains show up with Hannibal Lecter and the
female villain from "The Mummy". The Mummy girl fights with Ace
and Gary (AG Duo); they end up getting defeated by her because they fail to
"take her from behind" and "go down" (ha ha).
Lord Farquar comes out and uses the Populator to try to find a Pop
Princess. He brings up J. Lo and Christina Aguilara, who have a dance-off,
but they are both bested by the girl ape from Planet of the Apes.
Cornelius pushes past Farquar and runs after the ape girl offstage, Hannibal
Lecter goes after J. Lo's booty. Shrek goes after Farquar. Jim comes
back, Ace and Gary give him advice about why he sucks with women. They
leave and the Sex and the City girls are back. They fight over
Charlton Heston is overacting again, interrupted by the arrival of the
host from The Weakest Link game show. She divides the villains and
the heroes and starts playing The Weakest Link. Cornelius gets the
first two questions right to take the lead (both the answers have to do with
monkeys), but Bill and Ted win by answering the question "What number am I
thinking of?"; the answer is "69" of course. Then the big
dance finale begins.
Many thanks to Michael
for helping with the synopsis of this show!